Monday, July 14, 2008

Fireside Chat: I Want Your Advice

A conversation ensued around the fire today. It was about college... whether it's better to stay near home or go away and live away from your parents. What would your advice be?

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Daniel said...

Hi Jeff,

No time to call in a comment, but I will leave you something here as text.

Chris Penn from the Financial Aid Podcast recently interviewed , and she talked about this very topic. Find the information with a link to the interview here:

You all should really be listening to this show and checking out the website. In addition Chris is on Twitter as @cspenn.

Rockland Home Staging said...

No idea where the comments are supposed to go - I don't do video so I'll leave it here. I think college is about growing up - it is important to live at college. It is nice to stay close enough to be able to drive home for the weekend if you want to. I went an hour and a half from home.

I think the best advice I could give is no matter where you go to spend a semester abroad. There is no other time in your life that you can just up and move to another country. What a great experience.

Looks like you are really planning ahead for the Turner kids. :)

rebecca said...

As a teacher, I see pros and cons with both decisions. It really depends on the kid and the parents and the school and...

I know, that's not the answer you wanted.

Sometimes, if a kid is really reluctant to take responsibility (or if parents are too reluctant to allow kids to take responsibility for themselves) kids flourish when they go to school further away and are sort of forced to fly on their own a little. This works for kids who are at least somewhat self-motivated and accept challenges well. More introverted kids sometimes get overwhelmed if thrown into this situation and don't adjust well, though.

Some kids do better when kept at home, but this is not the case for kids with "helicopter parents" who hover around them, keep them organized, do their laundry, provide their meals, transportation costs and entertainment money... But if parents and students can maintain a "this is my world and this is your world" separation, while keeping the support system of parents nearby, this works really well. However, kids who are more reluctant to turn to Mommy and Daddy for every need will need a little tough love. Trust me -- growing up now is MUCH later than growing up after graduation.

As parents, Mike and I have talked about this a lot. We're both teachers, and we've seen good and bad cases with both decisions. We've decided to send the kids to a state school -- two good ones are two hours away, each. This is close enough that we can be available to help, but far enough away that the kids will have to be somewhat independent for the first year. Then, if they want to go away, cool, and if not, that's cool, too. :)

April / cafemom:paulierox said...

well i have been talking with my 15 yr old about this and she wants to stay home. i think she wants to stay home and do her general ed courses here at the local community college then transfer somewhere else..and i am ok with this it will work for us...